walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
