A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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