A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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