Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize