but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize