Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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