You just made me feel so damn special
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
