Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
