yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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