i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You can't just leave with hair like that
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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