FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
