you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
