the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
