how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
