Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
