Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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