Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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