I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
