Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize