seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
