haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
