oh god the rape fog is back!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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