It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
