she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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