What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
