He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
