I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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