woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
