She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
