she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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