Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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