I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
