Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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