Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
