So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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