Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
