omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just high enough for therapy.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
