So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
