TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
whose parrot is this?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
