Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
how drunk are you?
Several
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize