Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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