You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
