everyone is single if you try hard enough
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
