Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
