Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
