Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
