I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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