week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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