She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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