She's JV to your varsity
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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