Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
