dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
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I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
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There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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