hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
