they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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