ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I intend to get homeless drunk
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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