I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
