What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
