If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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