she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
