I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
