you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Slut skills are useful in every country.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
