Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
