That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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